5 things

5 things I learned this month:

1. Sam is a great dad.
And it’s sexy. Real sexy. We were recently discussing the ‘dad bond’ with some friends. Each dad shared how long it had taken to feel bonded to their kids. Some said a few weeks. Some up to six months. Then we asked Sam if he felt bonded to Clara yet, or how soon he thought it would be until he did. He didn’t even look away from the football game on the tv as he said,
“Immediately.”
We all laughed, but he looked at us and said, “No, seriously. The moment she was born. As soon as I laid eyes on her, I was crazy about her.”

Excuse me while I DIE OF LOVE. (and are those six weeks up yet, Dr. Rice?)

2. It’s ok to ask for help.
Really. Truly. Go for it, Jessie. ASK. Because being a new mom is hard. Exhausting, emotional, strange, and sometimes baby crying in the daunting dark of night for unknown reasons hard. But I’m not the first person to do this mom thing, and there are a lot of people who love me and my husband and our baby so much that it’s actually a little weird. So, instead of being stubborn…instead of being proud…instead of being so damn independent…ask for help. You’ll probably get some delicious dinners and maybe even a hug, just exactly when you need it.

3. Be where you are.

This used to be my mantra when I directed an after school program. During staff training, my most serious charge to my team was to Be Where You Are. Don’t text when someone is talking to you. Don’t ignore a kid who needs your attention. Don’t talk to the other staff instead of the kids- just be where you are. And now I have to work on that every single day. I want to soak up every wonderful, heartbreakingly fast moment of my daughter’s life. And sometimes those wonderful moments are actually pretty awful- but they’re my moments. I’m her only mom and I want to BE HERE, as much as I can for as long as I can.

4. Being pregnant was worth it.

I hated being pregnant. Hated. I often refused to leave my house; uncomfortable with how I looked and anxious in social situations, I didn’t recognize myself anymore. But Clara…oh, Clara. How very worth it every single uncomfortable moment has become in the light of her silly little face. And as irritated as I’m sure everyone around me is to hear it- because Lord knows they all suffered too- I can’t wait to be pregnant again. Because it means I’ll get another baby. Yum.

5. It is absolutely impossible to love someone this much.
Imagine a person who whines enough to wake you up several times a night. Who yells at you without saying what’s wrong. Who pukes on your clothes every day. Who makes big messes and doesn’t clean anything. Who steals your husband’s heart.
Now imagine actually adoring that person, for no other reason than they. are. yours. That’s being a parent. And that’s really all I know about it so far.