in the cold of midnight hours.

Look at that little fit-thrower. Sheesh I love her. 

I’ve reached the point of pregnancy where I dread nighttime, because sleep is a distant, elusive shadow. I can only handle a Unisom induced sleep and next day hangover about once a week, so here I am, hooting away with all the other night owls. But tonight as Clara dreams away in her crib, and Sam sleeps with his head on my lap while I watch Christmas movies alone in the dark, I am thankful to be awake. I’m treasuring these moments away in my heart, as a sleepy family of three in our sleepy little house. Time is rushing away and I feel almost guilty, because I know in some part I wished it so. This fall has been a crazy season in our lives and much as I tried not to, my mind ticked with the pace of “this too shall pass, this too shall pass.” But now, you see, it is passing. The play is over (step 1). Next is Thanksgiving, then graduation, then Christmas, then soon after our baby boy will arrive. People keep asking what my plans are after I graduate and all I can do is stare at them with a pained look, because I can’t seem to think beyond the end of January and my due date. Shouldn’t I have a plan? A job? A way to make my degree worth something, to make myself valuable to the community? 

I mean, yeah. Probably. 

But for this Monday midnight hour, with my husband’s even breathing keeping a slow rhythm beside me, and a prayer in my heart of sincere thanks for both of my healthy growing babies, I’m practicing the art of being. 
Being a mother. 
Being a student. 
Being a wife. 
Being patient. 
And being grateful. 

Oh so, so grateful. 
Happy Thanks Giving week, my friends
the Horneys and our little bear.  

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