some nights, man.

Last night I was FURIOUS with my infant son. Yeah, that cute one right there. Like, toss him off the bed and run away from home furious. I actually woke up Sam and asked him to help me troubleshoot the crying, which I try never to do on work nights, because he gets up so early and goes to a job with dangerous elements (he’s a power lineman). But I was at my absolute end, teetering on the edge of irrational thoughts about my baby like is he doing this on purpose? and why does my baby hate me? and what year is it? how long has he been crying? 

It wasn’t a great scene. 
Anyways, we all made it to morning. Here’s a tip for new parents: crying always, always feels worse at night. There is something suffocating about the dark and the quiet that makes a crying baby seem all-powerful and unending. Like the despair of acne on picture day. Or an angry flock of seagulls. But I promise you: the crying will end. The baby will sleep. You will sleep. The sun will rise again. One thing I’ve learned about myself, and maybe this is true of everyone, but the only way to get through those nights is to really WAKE up. If I try to half-ass it and I’m not paying close attention to the baby, I tend to miss cues, which prolongs the fussing. I have to open my eyes, listen, touch, and focus fully on the issue. Parenting requires all five senses, and the middle of the night is no exception. Wake up, man. Figure out what’s going on with that little life you are so crazy about, and if all else fails, take my friend Erica’s advice: 
If it’s going to be funny later, it might as well be funny now. 
So the next time both of our kids are laying on our bed wailing and we are brushing our teeth staring at them because we do not in fact have any idea what to do, we will try to laugh at the madness. Because you know what will come next?
And moments like this:
Have a happy Tuesday, guys. Lots of love from the tired Horney house 🙂 
~Jessie and crew

One thought on “some nights, man.

  1. Thanks for this post! I'm glad to hear another mom voice these same feelings I've had during those late, frustrating nights. I say to myself, “someday I will miss the late night rocking and comforting”…sometimes that works…sometimes it doesn't 🙂

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