In honor of the pending new year, I’ve decided to write myself a few lists. A list has many uses, and I intend to exploit them all. Today’s list is handy for:
“a list of things that surprised me last year”
1. I like being at my house. You might even call me a homebody. Previous to this year, I never would have assigned myself such a, shall we say, introverted nomenclature. And don’t get me wrong, I still love a raucous party, but GOOD GOLLY I love quiet days at my house with my kid and my husband and a couple of sandwiches. Which begs us to examine this observance: Am I getting old?
2. Being pregnant was harder than giving birth. Like, a thousand times harder. I’ve always had it switched around in my head, that pregnancy would be this tender moment in time between me and my unborn child, back-lit by some sort of holy glow, and childbirth a hard fought war of vaginal walls and anguished, sweaty cursing. Nay, I tell you. Nay. Pregnancy is 20 weeks of excitement, centered around one exhilarating gender reveal ultrasound, followed by 18 more weeks of rapid weight gain off set by hormonal imbalance and reclusive tendencies, wrapped up with 2 weeks of ungodly torturous sleepless nights of ‘fake labor.’
Then you go through labor. Then you have contractions that are actually DOING something, and then you get to push that baby right on out, that glorious slippery moment when you become a mom, not just a round tub of impatience and stretch marks. There’s a pretty clear moment in our lives when we begin to long for children; for some people that means getting pregnant, for some it means adoption, and for some it might mean waiting and waiting. But from here? From where I’m standing? None of it really matters once you hold that kid in your arms. It is the end all of end all of shout out loud joy.
|16 weeks: still fun|
|20 weeks: yay it’s a girl!|
|27 weeks: oh, pregnancy is just adorable, huh?|
|38 weeks: this is for real.|
|39 weeks: i will be pregnant forever.|
|oh hey Clara Horney. hey. we love you.|
3. Sam is a really good dad. I don’t know why I didn’t see this coming. Sam’s parents raised all of their kids to be kind, loving people, especially towards children. But for some reason I always imagined myself as the “main” parent around here, the one who would sort of take charge in the child-rearing department (especially with a newborn.) But it turns out that Samuel is one hell of a father. A diaper changing, bath giving, song singing, bounce to sleep kind of a guy who makes me proud every day. He doesn’t just love our baby; he loves being a daddy. I mean, YUM, you know what I’m saying?
4. Being a mom is important. Honestly, having a baby seemed like a step down for any ambition I had in my life. I figured it was a necessary demotion in order to build our family, and someday I’d get right back into the thick of making a real difference in the world. But let me tell you- when you are a mom, you are changing the world. I am amazed when I look around at my friends and family as they struggle to raise obedient kids who have compassion and big dreams. We are working to give the world the best gift we have to offer: a generation of people who want to do what is right. Moms and Dads have an important job, and it is not to be taken lightly. Take heart, my friends! These days are short and fast and ours for the taking!
So says the girl in the sailor suit down there.
Tomorrow’s list: Stuff I could’ve done better.